The one where I realize that life never gets easier you only accumulate more complex problems
post a comment | posted Jul 30
Its been five months since we realized we had to tackle our debt problem. Not merely address it, not merely talk about, not merely talk to someone else about it; but learning to say "no". Learning to go without. Learning to swallow some pride, learning to sacrifice. And here we are, just one more outstanding debt to go and we're free. Truly free from a fake security. A fake sense of worth and value. Free.
Five months ago I honestly didn't believe we could save enough money while killing our debt and still eat. Somehow we've done just that. $18,000 of debt gone; AND I just ate dinner (so what that it was mashed potatoes, just mashed potatoes, I'm still full -- and alive). I take that back -- somehow God has provided, to allow us to be at this point. Semantics, eh?
I can't think of a greater environment to welcome Circus performer #3 into the Family Armstrong than to be unburdened (in so many more ways than just financially). We won't be worrying about getting the baby the newest clothes (that a baby will wear all of 1 month and poop and spit up on) or a new crib or decorating their room. These things don't matter (we just allowed ourselves to listen to those voices that pressure you into thinking you need and want things, things, things, things). I think we've learned, beyond not using credit cards (and not just because our credit "rating" is destroyed) that learning to say no to "things" -- saying no to getting that extra large McDonald's fries thing, no to eating out again with some friends thing, no to buying that "little" gift for you kids or your friends or yourself thing. Learned to not be so vain as to fear asking for help, or getting second hand or used things, or even shopping "discount" (aka Walmart).
I'm not sure how it happened, but I thank God it did. I went from feeling helpless and worthless, to peaceful, unburdened and fulfilled. You can too ...