VIRB

yesterday i had a startling realization. well, let's not jump to "startling" just quite yet... let's say it was an intense revelation, and it came from a friend on a msgr convo... i was having a particular uncentered, emotional, unsettled sort of day (mostly due to an odd relationship w/ a boy.... yeah, one of thOSe...) i turned on some music, familiar stuff that usually helps to relax and -crap- it didn't work... i searched around my itunes till i came up w/ lauryn hill's Just Like Water, and from the minute i turned that bad boy on, i felt peace. i relaxed, i felt normal again, felt real again, felt like ME. ya know?
my msgr friend knew of my unsettled day, and when i told her that the song instantly healed me, she said "it's like love. not the romantic, gushy love that people talk about all the time, but the love that makes you remember who you are." and it's true. reminiscent of family time, there is some music that just takes you there, to reality... actually, i think art in general should take you there...
speaking of reality, i was talking to the same friend a couple days ago and she said something like "reality sucks for those who aren't in touch w/ it and rocks for those who are"... and reality in this case meaning the highest, deepest reality there is, beyond science and/or religion, beyond human perception- that which truly exists. but not everyone is in touch w/ this reality, and that is a shame. i'm certainly not saying that i have a constant connection w/ the highest existing reality, but it seems to me that in general people don't even think to look for depth in their lives... we all get content so easily with our consciences being constantly bombarded by crappy advertising voices and other social...ness.
heh. i'll stop ranting now.
but last night i ended that msgr convo knowing that the odd-relationship-boy is not The One for many reasons, but mostly because he doesn't make me feel at home. i don't feel like the real me around him, and even though we've had some good convos discussing God and religion and such, there's not enough of the deeper-reality connection thing going on. *sigh* he's really friggin cute, tho.
dangblastitall....