About

In October of Nineteen-Eighty-Cock-A-Doodle-Two, Lester was born with lungs the size of a newborn baby's. His small, fragile body looked like sweet and sour pork. He couldnt even speak English. Things did not look good for little Lester.

But then he moved to Alaska. Despite it all, he triumphed over his weaknesses while never looking back. Against the harsh, unforgiving Alaskan landscape, he learned English. He learned how to play the saxophone. He learned how to love. He learned how to play the Titanic theme song on the recorder. With his nose. He even learned cursive. But he still routinely begins sentences with conjunctions. Oh, Lester! When will you learn?

When Lester was 16, he started a design firm; one that, like Lester himself, has survived against harrowing odds. Now, at the sprightly young age of 24 and measuring a height of six feet two-and-a-half inches, Lester has become a striking image of the modern-day success story, and christ-like to boot! His taste in music is unrivaled. It is for this reason that he is now judging the Nikiski Talent Show for the second year in a row.

Lester's dream in life is to someday become a Super Bowl MVP. His worst nightmare is that someday he'll get suckered in to riding on a cruise ship and then the crew will be all, Hey, why dont you go for a relaxing swim in the ocean? and then he'll get chopped up by the propellers. He lives with four cats, named Pussywillow Jenkins, Professor Fangsworth, Suckerpants Garfield, and Adam Segura. Adam is a tall cat with no fur or tail, two hands instead of front paws, two feet instead of back paws, opposable thumbs, guitar skills, and he wears clothes. His only cat-like feature is the ability to walk silently. You might say that Adam is not a cat at all, but rather Lester's human roommate with no discernible cat-like qualities (aside from the previously-mentioned silent walking ability). You wouldnt be mistaken. When Adam was a baby, he had webbed toes and fingers. You can watch a video of Adam breastfeeding Professor Fangsworth here.

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The doctor says I have Down's Syndrome. Dun dun dunn! Jan 27

That's right, Down's Syndrome. Not Down Syndrome, like so many people are apt to spell it. I should know. I have it.

Okay, the doctor didn't really tell me that I have it. I figured it out on my own. It all of a sudden dawned on me (or is it "donned" on me? They both lo...

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Recent Songs (VirbTunes) - see all

• Louis Prima - Just a Gigolo/I Ain't Got Nobody
• PAS/CAL - Wake Up Wake Up Wake Up
• Weapons of Mass Belief - Fuckhouse
• The George Garabedian Players - Third Man Theme
• The George Garabedian Players and the Awful Trumpet of Harry Arms - Spanish Flea

Other Sites of Mine

Further Studios
Belletrist Records
A Spoonful of Lester

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My Music

Movies

Magnolia, Boogie Nights, Punch-Drunk Love, Hard Eight, Nobody Knows, Lost in Translation, City of God, Annie Hall, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Y Tu Mamá También, Run Lola Run, Dancer in the Dark, Requiem for a Dream, Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, Hotel Rwanda, Happiness, Welcome to the Dollhouse, Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums, Squid and the Whale

Music

Sufjan Stevens, Batter Brown, The Tim Sturm Band, Of Montreal, Fruit Bats, The Kropotkins, Akron/Family, M. Ward, Shooby Taylor, Jens Lekman, Sergio Mendes, Bing Crosby, Hoagy Carmichael, Johnny Mercer, The Beatles, Elvis Presley, Joanna Newsom, Devendra Banhart, Ween, Pavement, Louis Armstrong, Louis Prima, Louis Logic, The Decemberists, David Byrne, Giovanni Fusco, Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass, Bonnie "Prince" Billy, Leo Kottke, Heart, Bishop Allen, The 88, PAS/CAL, The Avett Brothers, Elliott Smith, Cody Chesnutt, The Angels of Light, Paul Curreri, Devon Sproule, Quasar Wut-Wut, Silver Jews, Ben Kweller, Marseille Figs, Fiona Apple, Half-handed Cloud, Les Sans Culottes, The Online Romance, Desi Arnaz, Erin Mckeown, Liz Janes, The Handsome Family, Wilco, Lewis Taylor, Clem Snide, Frida Hyvönen, Stevie Wonder, Traffic

Television

Lost, Weeds, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Prison Break, Desperate Housewives, Strangers With Candy, The Office, Heroes, Letterman, Arrested Development

Books

Beautiful Evidence, The Visual Display of Quantitative Information, Information Dashboard Design, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, What Is The What, The House Book, Discover Your Genius, Running With Scissors, Adverbs, Artful Sentences, The 22 Immutable Laws of Branding, The Brand Gap, Rebels on the Backlot, The Art of Innovation, Love is the Killer App, Getting Things Done, A Movable Feast, Postal, Note of a Dirty Old Man, Life of Pi, Little Children, The Second Coming of Steve Jobs, The Cult of Mac