VIRB

My boss asked me this question the other day and it has been rolling around in my head ever since, plaguing me if you will. I listen to Rob Bell a lot and a lot of what he has to say has to do with living in 'Jesus community,' living in line with the way that God designed us to live. God calls us to healing, He calls us to life in the fullest. He does not call us to busy-ness, this running around trying to accomplish this, that, and the other thing. God says, "I made you to love me. I made you to find all your dreams fulfilled in me. In me. Not in money. Not in stuff. Not in anything. But me. And because of that I want to romance you. I want to enjoy you. I do enjoy you. I love you."

It sounds neat. All packaged. And then you through sin into the mix and God loving me, God loving people, becomes I messy affair. I desperately want to live in the reality that in Jesus we have life in the fullest.

Ironically, as I write this I am listening to The Juliana Theory sing, "Love is everything." Over and over. And over.

This last Sunday in church we sang "Our God reigns." Over and over. And over.

There's something about saying something over and over again that shows me the truth in that statement. Our God reigns. Are you sure? Our God reigns. But look at all the ugliness in the world. Our God reigns. I haven't been letting Him reign in my life. Our God reigns. Do I believe He is strong enough? Our God reigns. Yes, I know that He has all power and authority. Our God reigns. Yes, you are on your throne. Our God reigns. Yes, I know it's true.

Love is everything. But I don't feel loved. Love is everything. But my girls, they are hurting so much. Love is everything. What is love? Love is everything. Is it that mushy, feel-good thing? Love is everything. God, you can't love me. I'm so bad. Love is everything. God, I know you're love, but I can't do it. Love is everything. Teach me to love you. Love is everything. Teach me to love others.

Teach me to love the girls who come when they feel like it. Teach me to love the girls who are ungrateful (for the money, for the time, for the energy I spend on them). Teach me to love the kids who are undisciplined. Teach me to love the girls who don't discipline their kids. Teach me to love the girls who are sullen. Teach me to love the girls who are boy-crazy. Teach me to love myself.

This evening as I was driving home from dropping off my girls I was talking to Jesus, thinking things like "Well, God you didn't have any trouble getting people to come learn more about you. You just showed up and they showed up." Now that's interesting, isn't it. Jesus shows up, and people show up. Maybe I should be inviting Jesus first. Also I was reminded that going from a throne in heaven to living among humanity wasn't exactly lacking in culture shock and challenge. Jesus is very familiar with the difficulties that come with loving people.

His people didn't "get it" either. And He got frustrated over that too. And they still didn't get it.

Until He died. Until He was no longer there to teach them.

Then the Spirit moved. Then the Spirit breathed. Then Truth walked. Even Jesus couldn't force people to "get it." What makes me think that I will either? The Spirit has to move.

So I guess I haven't really gotten to the whole healing thing yet. Maybe I'll tackle that tomorrow.