VIRB

Well, I guess this is it. This is the break I've been waiting for. I've been looking forward to Christmas break all semester. RVC gets a whole three weeks off of classes. So far this is day 4 of my break.

I'm thoroughly disenchanted. I recall the years when I would look forward to Christmas break with anticipation. Nearly all of that anticipation has been erased. I can already tell this vacation is going to suck.

For the last two days including this one, I have found myself with a massive excess of "free time". Frankly I don't really know which is supposed to be free. Is it my time free of time-consuming tasks, or am I the one who is free from obligations? Frankly I don't feel very free.

In truth it isn't free time at all. It's a period of time absent of the events by which I have been defining the passage of time. It's a long stretch of emptiness. It's taking an extremely long time to pass right now; seconds dragging on into minutes, dragging on into hours, dragging on into days, with a feeling that it won't end, but when it's over, I'll stand in shock and exclaim "Woah, what have I been doing all this time! What a waste of time!" It's as though there's always something fun to do until there is time in which to do it.

The truth of the matter is, there is plenty for me to do. I just have absolutely no interest in any of it whatsoever. I'm experiencing complete anhedonia toward activities.

*** Well, I have another neat story that took place in real time right around now.

Safari, the web browser I'm writing this in, crashed. Again. For the 3rd time today. I was flaming pissed. Then, right as I was about to send an all-caps rant to Cupertino, a song came up over the iTunes shuffle that was none other than Mark Farina's remix of DJ Presto's "Relax Your Mind". It was amazing.

So, needless to say, my mood has lifted considerably.

I just visie'd to the second half of Mushroom Jazz, vol. 1, and I feel amazing. Like floating on a cloud. Out my peripheral vision, my computer, my bed, and the room was changing color in tandem with the visualizer.

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