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About
What I like best about myself ..is my audacity,
my courage. The ways I have found to be true to
myself without causing too much pain or damage..
What I hate so much is my vanity, my need to shine,
my need of applause and my sentimentality. I would
like to be harder. I cannot make a joke, make fun
of anyone, without feeling regrets.
There were always in me, two women at least,
one woman desperate and bewildered,
who felt she was drowning and another who
would leap into a scene, as upon a stage,
conceal her true emotions because they
were weaknesses, helplessness, despair,
and present to the world only a smile,
an eagerness, curiosity, enthusiasm, interest.
Movies
West Side Story, Singles, The Thing, The Hunger (more than alive, Belas' undead), Secretary, Kicking and Screaming - Criterion Collection, Lucky Three (an Elliott Smith Portrait by Jem Cohen).
Music
BOH, Bon Iver, John Vanderslice... today. "No revelations in the water, no tears in the booze"
Television
NPT sometimes. "It's as if what is unbreakable - the very pulse of life - waits for everything else to be torn away, and then in the bareness that only silence and suffering and great love can expose, it dares to speak through us and to us. It seems to say, if you want to last, hold on to nothing. If you want to know love, let in everything. If you want to feel the presence of everything, stop counting things that break along the way.."
Books
Rumi's poems, Daughters of Bilitis, Facing the Lion, Being the Lion, The Yoga of discipline and the Yoga Sutra, continually. "What desire is possible for Thee who is the fulfillment of all desires?"